A Tribute

My hometown is pretty redneck - okay, very redneck. I'm not. But I thought that I might be able to understand that culture by examining one of its outstanding features - Windshield Sayings. That's right, those letters on the car windshield that you get to read every time that car passes you, right before you undoubtedly see the browning and dale stickers on the back after they've passed.

1. "99 Problems and She Ain't One"

Yeah, a redneck takes a line from a popular hip-hop song. I can live with that. Oh, he changes a word so it's not profane language? That's ok too, he's not down with that gangsta 'ish. But here's the catch: You wanted to show that a girl isn't a problem in your life so you dedicate your windshield to her. I think you sent the wrong message. If you really wanted to show her you probably should have went with, "Courtney, your best friend gave me head while we were dating. Oh, and you now have herpes. Surprise!" Ok, maybe that's a little long.



2. "Redneck Cadillac"

Ok, I really can't rag on this one because they actually spelled Cadillac correctly.



3. "Cowgirl Up"

A girl was obviously driving... Just a minute ... here goes, this is spawned from the saying "Cowboy Up". That phrase is a spin-off of "Balls Up". Yeah, you're a girl... and you have balls. I know a doc that can help you with that. What's that? You're a lesbian? Oh, well maybe this means something else.



4. "Get Some"

You didn't.